Trust.

Over the past year, I have moved six times. This could be wrong as I have lost count. I have been praying for God's guidance and He has continued to show me. It has been a year of laughs, cries, growing, courage, letting go, and trust. In this first year of me being an "adult", I have continued to learn who I am. I am beginning to shape my identity in Christ rather than sports, being part of my family life, or even just saying I'm a Christian but not actually acting it out. The summary of my year has been one of hills and valleys.

It was the end of summer and the rental van was all packed. I began to really realize this was real. I was moving.

Ten hours away from home.

We left and made it. Made it to my new home for the next eight months. This part of my life was somewhat of a blur. I met many friends, played multiple volleyball games, and began to study.

Then it hit. The dreaded homesickness.

This was a surprise for me being a person who never has been homesick in my life. All I wanted was to be in a place that was familiar.

I started to look for other schools. I craved more biblical knowledge. A few days later, my Bodenseehof application went in.

Then the wait began.

The wait for the unexpected. Where I would be going in fall, what God wanted for my life, and what the next semester of school would look like.

To my surprise, second semester at Prov was one of the best semesters of my life. I began to make new friends and our team began to bond more. However, there was something missing.

I began to chase for something more.

4 more moves over the summer and I was at the same spot I had been at the end of my school year.

I began to realize that the heartaches in my life had not yet been healed. I used the excuse that Bodenseehof was going to "fix" all of this. God was in Germany and I just needed to wait.

This was not the case.

Once I have made it to Germany I have realized that God is not just in this place where there is direction through mentors and lectures but also in the midst of the sloppy, messed up, mundane things of life. He meets us where we are at.

A staff member at this school talked one morning about how it is okay that we need to be emptied before we can be filled again.

This is where I am at.

Though sometimes it feels like I am hanging from the last rope in an ocean of unknown. I do know He is here.

I see the beauty He is doing here all around me.

About three years ago I went on a missions trip in my city. We had an intercession where some team members told us what their vision was for our group and what we saw.

I closed my eyes and saw a girl at the end of the dock wanting to jump in. The rest of the team saw our youth group working together on a ship and God was the sails.

I jumped in that ocean.

I lost my way.

But God is leading my sails and He continues to find me.